i can't write or speak well
Writing is pretty difficult for me, no matter what kind of writing it is. I got passing grades for my essays in school and stuff, but all I did was follow the templates that they wanted us to follow. My sentences are short and repetitive, and when I try to reach further, what I say ends up being unintelligible and disconnected. It takes me about twice as long to write compared to other people. It's not just an issue of not being able to say what I want to say clearly; most of the time, my mind is a blank space from the start. This is also part of what's made speaking and socializing so hard for me.
Most people have a built-in desire to speak and make their thoughts known, which is good and natural and a basic skill needed for living. I was born missing that component, I think, but I can't ride on that as an excuse for my poor communication as I keep getting older. I should have learned by now.
I loved silent protagonists as a kid and was too passive.
I like poems because I can just jumble the words together, but they're cringe. Mine are naked and thin. Visual art gives you a lot of allowance for abstraction and vagueness, but writing requires a lot of focus, precision, and clarity.